My first ever blog. My story that led me here. Me vs. Anxiety.
It took me forever to sit down and do this. Partially because I didn’t know where to start. Decision fatigue. Fear of other’s opinions. Hustling in too many other ways to choose a slower, more uncomfortable option.
I have slowed down. I am here now. Nothing but me, myself, and I (and whoever takes the time to read this). This particular blog post will be the most informal. I wanted to begin with my story of how I became a therapist.
I have been a hustler from as young as I can remember. Picture this, 16 year old me sitting in AP Psychology falling in love with the field of study, in between Friday night lights and cheer practice. I had been reading other people’s emotions, moods, and feelings since I could remember. Over the course of that semester, I started looking into careers I could make out of being good “AT” people. As a high school sixteen year old girl, I was already deciding my major for college and the future to follow. I found myself reaching out to counselors to see if I could sit in on sessions, and was super close to one opportunity, but overall no luck.
Fast forward to freshman year at Clemson University where I majored in Psychology with a minor in Non-profit leadership. This was the year “mental illness” became a part of my own personal vocabulary. I had anxious thoughts way before residing Manning Hall, but none that led me to physical symptoms. That year I began to have these awful migraines that led to loss in sight. After visiting my primary care doctor, then being sent to an optometrist, then finally to a neurologist, I was informed I was having ocular migraines induced by anxiety. (I started crying at this part in writing this blog - full disclosure).
I began searching for a therapist not long after this experience. The struggle began to become clear that finding affordable mental health care without insurance, while in college, was going to be a challenge. Luckily my group leader at the time referred me to this nonprofit practice that offered reduced services to college students.
My hope and prayer was that I would start by June of that year and ironically enough my first appointment was on June 1st. That was the day my future became solidified. Becoming a therapist and holding space for others became something I couldn’t resist going after. For the first time I wasn’t alone in my anxiety and experiences. I walked away, changing session after session after session. I was able to get off my anxiety medication and see life in a whole new way.
I graduated in three years with my undergraduate degree and received notice of acceptance into Clemson’s Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling Program. This is where I found many new friends, worldviews, experiences, and the career I was going to devote my life to for years to come. I can’t imagine having received my degree from any other program. The professors that I had at Clemson were remarkable.
After graduation number two, I found myself in a perfect opportunity to give back in the ways given to me. I received a job offer to begin a program at the nonprofit I was working at at that time to begin a sliding scale counseling group. This felt like everything I had worked for came to fruition. I was able to learn and grow in that job as a counselor in a multitude of ways. After about a year and some change, I received the news that we were going to have to conclude this chapter.
Next came the beginning of my private practice, Hughes Counseling LLC. This was a chapter in my life I wasn't expecting so soon, but it has taught me flexibility and the importance of timing. Now I am learning how to run a business, hold space for clients, develop my niche as a therapist, build a brand for myself, and share with as many people as I can how life changing therapy is for any one willing to give it a shot.
Anxiety is an on-going struggle of mine that I will more than likely have for the rest of my life, BUT it doesn’t get the access to control it once did. I have learned how my history impacts my present, while creating a future that looks more nourished in ways that I could have never imagined on my own. I like to identify heavily with being a “life-long learner” or “student of life.”
The best part of this journey is where I have found myself most recently. I have been curating a niche through my work for a while now and have settled on what feels right to focus on right now. The population I have found myself to be the most effective therapist with is women ages 20s-40s with high functioning anxiety, the need to achieve, with histories of trauma and relational struggles as well as experiences with unconventional grief. I strongly do not believe in order to be a good therapist, you need to have lived out all the experiences of the clients in front of you, BUT I do think your work can be enriched when you have the piece of relatability.
I hope this helps you feel like we have met a million times and you’ve known me your whole life. “To feel seen is to feel cared for” and that is the mantra I work to live out in this field of mine.
Warmly,
Hannah Hughes, LPC-A
